How a Tarot Reading Led to My Coming-Out: Part 2

I never thought I’d hear myself saying that a social media algorithm helped me come out, but here we are.

I remember texting Kara: “I think I have a crush on a girl from TikTok.” She was more androgynous than anyone I’d ever seen, and something about her energy struck a chord. This epiphany- that admiration was actually full-blown gay panic- felt like a second adolescence. I dyed my hair pink, re-pierced my nose, added a few new visible arm tattoos, and started shedding the version of myself I had built for everyone else. By your late twenties, there aren’t many “firsts” left in dating, until you realize you’ve been looking in the wrong direction the entire time.

Over the next few weeks, I updated my dating app settings to include both women and men. “I guess I’m bi… or maybe pan,” I told my closest friends. Dating apps weren’t my first choice, but the world was closed, and it was my best shot. But every time I swiped past a guy holding a fish, I cringed. I quickly changed my settings to women only.

My first date was with a raver girl from DC. Turns out, high femmes weren’t it for me. I was still searching for that androgynous energy that first caught my attention, so I decided to hold off on dating until I found it. Men? Still a huge no. At that point, I’d rather join a convent than recenter them in my life.

In the meantime, I started making my own TikToks, connecting with the online queer community, and fully immersing myself in witchcraft and spirituality. It felt like a full-on awakening. And my tarot cards kept validating everything I was experiencing. A friend gifted me an evil eye with a large crystal that dangled in the center. I hung this in the window above my front door and everyday around 5 pm, when the hit it just right, rainbows scattered across the first floor of my row home. I started calling it “rainbow hour,” and it quickly became my favorite part of the day- a symbolic, sparkling reminder that I was on the right path.

By the end of summer, I started talking to a girl who checked all the boxes: androgynous, driven, and a Taurus- astrologically compatible with my Pisces sun. Our first date was a hike, I read her tarot cards, and we instantly clicked. It finally felt real. Not a crush through the screen, but something tangible for a woman right in front of me.

After three months, it ended. Out of nowhere. Just days after leaving a trail of flirty love notes around my room, she told me she wasn’t looking for anything serious. I thought I wasn’t either. The following days were filled with mixed signals: her getting a tattoo of the tarot card I pulled for her on our first date, using my favorite quote as her Facebook bio, and her new girlfriend with blue hair. My first true sapphic heartbreak, the painful reality of a wlw situationship. If I’d known her moon and rising were both in Capricorn, maybe I would’ve seen it coming.

I took time to heal. I continued making content, finished grad school, found a fitness routine which finally stuck, and launched my business. Something I didn’t expect? How much more intense heartbreak was with a woman. I was the avoidant one in my hetero relationships, the one who always ended things. Breakups with men felt like freedom (queue “The Bolter” by Taylor Swift). But with women, it hit different.

One night, to distract myself, Bri and I went to our favorite bar in Fed. While waiting in line, I live-streamed on TikTok. The guys behind us joined in. One of them was definitely into Bri, so I chatted with his friend. We ended up having the same moon sign and he added me on Co–Star. I wasn’t exactly excited but I figured I’d at least be open-minded. That ended quickly after I found out he voted for Trump. Bri and I pretended to run to the bathroom and walked home. I realized I wasn’t bi- I was definitely a lesbian. 

The next milestone: coming out to my family. Around Thanksgiving, I drove my mom home after a night with her friends. Honestly, I kind of blacked out and forgot exactly what I said, but she told me she loved me and didn’t care who I dated. After all, she was a single mom who raised me to be strong and independent, reminding me to “never trust a man.” This couldn’t have been much of a surprise. 

Eventually, I felt ready to date again and went out with a Libra femme from Fells Point. She was fun and took care of me when her roommate and I drank too much at the casino, but after a couple of dates, the spark just wasn’t there. Thankfully, I loved being single and my tarot cards kept reminding me that there was more magic coming my way.

Then, the universe did its thing.

It was the end of January and I was at a speakeasy in Harbor East. I opened Hinge and saw a message from a stunning woman named Kendall. She was a Cancer Sun, a nurse at Johns Hopkins, was into fitness, and had a smile you couldn’t forget. I was drawn to her energy and her pictures looked adventurous, so I decided to reply. A week later, we had our first date at Papi’s Tacos in Fells. In true lesbian fashion- I read her birth chart, we talked about how we both came out after dating men our whole lives, and things we like to do around the city. She felt like someone I had always known.

After dinner, she came over to meet my cats and check out my crystal collection. She wasn’t exactly into “that witchy shit” and initially categorized crystals by how good of a weapon they’d be- her top picks: a large amethyst wand and a quartz obelisk which resembled the Washington Monument. For our second date, I planned a ceremony for the New Moon in Aquarius. She was open-minded as we burned our intentions over a cauldron and pulled cards for the phase ahead. After that night, she never left- (another sapphic cliché). If you know me irl, you know how the rest of the story goes. :)

So, short story long, that’s how I came out. It all started with an enlightening tarot spread and a spat with my best friend (who, for the record, was right all along). I was looking for a nurturing woman, after all.

Witchcraft also helped me to discover this version of myself. The affirmations, the intentions, the shadow work- it all led me here. When people ask, “Did you really not know sooner?” I realize there were definitely signs I missed. How obsessed I was with watching The Parent Trap (tie-dye girl when I was young, Chessie when I got older), Stick It (iykyk), or that high-school friendship that felt more like a breakup. To be honest, realizations hit me all the time. I just thought everyone felt the same way, and if I were queer, I’d surely know. Sometimes, it takes the world slowing down, connecting with your inner magic, watching some chapstick lesbians on TikTok, and a nudge from the universe to discover who you really are.

If this resonates, know this wasn’t a linear or easy journey. I’ve had to unlearn everything I was taught about who I was “supposed” to be. And I’ve learned that journey never really ends. I still catch myself hesitating before holding Kendall’s hand in public. Still wonder how much PDA is too much. Still think about how I talk about my relationship with straight friends. But I’d choose this truth time and time again over feeling like something was missing, the piece I knew wasn’t there but couldn’t quite put my finger on.

Queerness and witchcraft have always gone hand in hand. Witches have always been the outcasts, the ones who refused to conform to society’s norms. Claiming the word witch gave me the courage to claim the word lesbian, a word that once felt heavy with shame. Now, I say it with pride. And when they ask how I realized- I say, “Tarot and TikTok.”